Caccaro Dear One-and-only Pheng

Dear one-and-only Pheng

This article originally appeared in Mondo e Missione (August 2020). The translation is published here with permission.

Pheng, a Cambodian Christian, passed away a few days ago at the age of 64. As we considered whether to have a Catholic or a Buddhist funeral, the second option prevailed because the majority of her loved ones—her children and relatives—are Buddhists. What we did as Catholics was to carve out spaces for prayer in accordance with Pheng’s Catholic faith, doing so in a way that the entire funeral rite could take place reverently and with mutual respect.

The relatives were kind and agreed that we could celebrate the Eucharist in Pheng’s house. When we arrived there, we saw that in accordance with local custom, the elders from the nearby pagoda had already hung a banner on the wall with the image of the Buddha, the Enlightened One. Loudspeakers transmitted very moving funeral dirges over a radius of at least two hundred meters. No one any longer understands the words of these chants, which are all repeated from memory. All you have to do is listen to them, for the sound is what creates the feeling of bidding farewell to a life that has come to an end and now awaits another life, a life that corresponds to one’s karma.

For our part, we placed an image of the crucified and risen Christ that was about the same size as theirs on another wall. Our celebration included singing, the reading of Scripture, and a reflection on the Gospel passage that tells of Lazarus and Jesus who, when he learned of the death of his friend, “burst into tears” (John 11:35).

On occasions such as this, tradition and custom play a decisive role. The handful of Catholics who usually come to this kind of service often feel embarrassed because Buddhist funeral traditions are so different from theirs. Buddhists are always in the majority, and this can give people the impression the Enlightened One’s teaching on life and death is the true one. Yet, in the face of death, it is important for us to bear witness to a different vision, namely, one based on the revelation of Jesus Christ. We do so not to impose our vision as an alternative, but to offer it as a possibility.

How fascinating it is to allow two different religious traditions to stand side by side. We feel both the pain and the pleasure of experiencing how different they are, and then we embrace the one that most intensely responds not to a whim, but to our heart’s deepest desire. Don Giussani rightly says that faith “is something . . . that happens in me, that piques my interest” and for this reason we have to undertake “an existential investigation,” [1] one that brings faith to bear upon the “ the "totality of circumstances and particular needs” [2] that constitutes the very core of human beings, their “elementary experience,” their “heart.”

In her mortal remains, covered by a heavy cloth, Pheng was also present at this Eucharist. I wanted everyone, especially her children and her husband, to say goodbye to her and acknowledge one last time the uniqueness of their mother and wife. I wanted them to see her not as one life among many, ready for yet another reincarnation in a different form. I wanted that face, Pheng’s face, to be recognized as unique, unrepeatable, never seen before on this earth and never to be seen again. I wanted them to say “Thank you” to her one last time, so I necessarily lingered on our faith in creation,

which in Buddhism is considered a false teaching because they believe that what exists is the result of “a progressive deterioration of beings, caused by desire” and because “the canonical scriptures . . .deny that there is any creation or creative act on the part of anyone.” [3] Nonetheless, I pressed on and said that is precisely with that “deterioration” that the value of every creature coincides. That is to say, our faith in creation is what leads us to interpret the decisions and limitations of each individual as signs of their uniqueness, their presence, and their goodness, [4] as signs of their being children of God. Our limitations, decisions, weight, height, etc., do not impede our development. On the contrary, they become the most eloquent sign of the uniqueness and unrepeatability of every creature willed by God. “God saw everything that he had made, and indeed it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). With all my heart, I wanted to say farewell to Pheng, knowing that she had been a mother, a wife, a friend, a unique Christian, without denying that she, like every human being, was imperfect.

I said all this, recognizing that it completely different from the perspective given by the Buddha to his followers.

C. S. Lewis, commenting on the statement “God is love,” writes that “this, incidentally, is perhaps the main difference between the Christian religion and all the others: in Christianity God is not a thing or even a static person, but a dynamic, pulsating activity, a life, almost a sort of drama . . . a sort of dance.” [5] Creation therefore is not deterioration but the dance of God who, out of love, creates each person in their own unrepeatable uniqueness. Such faith satisfies. It is “the supreme rationality,” continues Giussani, because “it generates an experience and a correspondence to what is human that goes beyond our ability to conceive of.” [6]

Rest in peace, dear and unique Pheng!

Translated by William Skudlarek

Notes

[1]L. Giussani, Il senso religioso (Milan: PerCorso, 1986), p. 14.

[2] Ibid., p. 16.

[3]M. Zago, Buddhismo e Cristianesimo in dialogo. Situazione, rapporti, convergenze (Rome: Citta Nuova, 1985), p. 278.

[4] See the brief and intriguing work by S. Petrosino, Dove abita l’infinito (Milan: Vita e Pensiero, 2020).

[5] C. S. Lewis, Il cristianesimo così com’è in http://www.gl.it/preg_lett/antologia/la_generazione_eterna.htm

[6]L. Giussani, Il senso religioso, p. 30.

Alberto Caccaro, missionary priest of the Pontifical Institute for Foreign Missions (PIME), was ordained in 1995, in 2001 he was sent to Cambodia, where he still is today. He works in the Apostolic Prefecture of Kompong Cham in the area of initial evangelization, immersed in the Khmer culture of a predominantly Buddhist matrix. In 2015-2016 he obtained his Licentiate in Fundamental Theology at the Pontifical Gregorian University. He writes for the blog of the magazine Mondo e Missione. He has published two collections of letters from Cambodia: Cento specie di amori (Turin: Lindau, 2012) and Al di là del Mekong (Milan: Pimedit, 2020).